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whoever told you to be creative in your cover letter has led you horribly astray

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A reader sent me this real-life cover letter that she received from a job applicant:

Hi. This very professionally-beginning cover letter should immediately alert you to my easy-going and comprehensive approach to task completion while making it strikingly obvious that I am both interested in and capable of performing HR duties with sophisticated exactitude. The quickening of your heart is likely subsiding at this point as your mind digests the familiar words in this second, poetic, figuration of how it feels to work with me: A profound calm washes over you as you realize we’re on the same team, striving for common goals. Clearly my efforts are oriented always toward mutually-beneficial understanding(s). As we part, smiling (of course), you check your pockets, laughing somewhat cynically at yourself for even thinking that I may’ve stolen your cell phone or wallet while we spoke, but then…your watch! Oh yes, you left it on the nightstand today, and come to think of it, you wrist feels so free and graceful, perhaps even sensual against the cuff of your shirt’s random meanderings. This, my friend, is how your life will feel every day we work together, except better.

Thank you.

I don’t know where to start, although not raising the possibility that you might pick your interviewer’s pocket is one place. Not invoking the sensual feeling of her wrist is another.

I know cover letters feel like an intimidating and even mysterious thing to many people. But really, they are just intended to explain why you’re interested in the job and why you’d excel at it. They really, really don’t need to do … whatever this letter is doing.

I would like to think this is a joke, but it’s very much a real thing that some job applicants have internalized the idea that they must do Something Different from everyone else in order to stand out, and often that manifests in creepy or otherwise bizarre ways.

whoever told you to be creative in your cover letter has led you horribly astray was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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JayM
18 hours ago
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Ha!

That I said, I absolutely abhor cover letters. When I have a stack of resumes to go through last thing I want to see is a cover letter. Maybe it is the level of folks I am hiring (VP and Director generally) but I prefer to see 3-5 bullet points around scope/scale, experience, and specialties of the applicant right at the top of their resume. Those bullets should intrigue me enough to spend time with with 2-3 pages of a Dir/VP level resume to find the evidence backing up what was stated. That is the most efficient use of my time.

If an individual contributor, 1 page is great, maybe 2 if they are a high level Enterprise Architect or Distinguished Engineer or Technology Fellow.
Boston Metro Area
skittone
1 day ago
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pfctdayelise
9 days ago
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omg the wrist thing
Melbourne, Australia

justiceleaque: starting comics: should.. should i read this too? the recommended list is already...

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justiceleaque:

starting comics: should.. should i read this too? the recommended list is already too long but i want to be Well Versed™ among the fellas

sooner than you’d think: fuck this issue and fuck that issue too and that writer can go suck three entire asses did the artist even TRY i don’t care it will all be retconned anyway here’s my version of how the characters should be portrayed they have traits from three different earths

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skittone
4 days ago
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This Is Exhausting

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[Content Note: Misogyny.]


Hillary Clinton has a 23-point lead with women. And that is described by CNN as having "an edge with women over Trump." An edge.

For a moment, let's all just contemplate how it would be described if Trump had a 23-point lead with women—or any demographic—over Clinton. Would it be described as having an edge? The fuck it would.
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skittone
9 days ago
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RedSonja
9 days ago
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Good grief. How big a lead would it have to be to be more than "an edge", I wonder?

Oh, Andy Murray

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[Content Note: Misogyny.]

John Inverdale is an ass, and Andy Murray is terrific:
Following tennis player Andy Murray's second consecutive Olympic gold medal win Sunday night, casual sexism reared its ugly head once again in a post-game interview.

According to the Evening Standard, when BBC reporter John Inverdale praised Murray for being the first "person" to win two Olympic medals in tennis, Murray interjected with a gentle reminder that women are people too.

"You're the first person ever to win two Olympic tennis gold medals," Inverdale said. "That's an extraordinary feat, isn't it?"

"I think Venus and Serena [Williams] have won about four each," he said.

Doing some on-the-spot fact-checking, Murray clarified he had only made history for being the first to win two consecutive gold medals for the singles title, not in Olympic tennis overall. Indeed, Venus and Serena Williams each have one gold in tennis singles and three in doubles, the latter hardware earned as a team.
BOOM! Murray's response—which is what anyone in his position should have said, but we all know damn well how rare it is all the same—got kudos from lots of people, including First Minister of Scotland Nicola Sturgeon.


Murray didn't come to this moment by accident. He has long had a female coach, Amélie Mauresmo, and seeing up close the "criticism and prejudice" she has faced on the basis of her gender affected him: "Have I become a feminist? Well, if being a feminist is about fighting so that a woman is treated like a man then yes, I suppose I have."
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skittone
10 days ago
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refinery29: If you’re healthy you probably don’t realize how...

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refinery29:

If you’re healthy you probably don’t realize how demoralizing it is to spend all day in a hospital gown

But now a new collaboration is designing fashionable hospital gowns to encourage sick teens that they’re not “just a hospital patient.” See how they react when they try their new robes on.

Gifs: Starlight Canada

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JayM
16 days ago
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Boston Metro Area
skittone
17 days ago
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sstrudeau
17 days ago
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I made this point a few years ago that fashion designers should look at redesigning hospital gowns after spending time in them; glad someone did it!
Brooklyn, NY

The First Evil Maid-Proof Computer

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It doesn’t matter how many bits your password has, how proven your encryption is, or how many TrueCrypt volumes are on your computer. If someone wants data off your device, they can get it if they have physical access to your device. This is the ‘evil maid’ security scenario, named after hotel maids on the payroll of a three-letter agency. If someone has physical access to a laptop – even for an hour or two – the data on that laptop can be considered compromised. Until now, there has been no counter to this Evil Maid scenario, and for good reason. Preventing access to data even when it is in the possession of an Evil Maid is a very, very hard problem.

Today, Design Shift has released ORWL(as in George Orwell), the first computer designed with physical security in mind. This tiny disc of a computer is designed to defeat an Evil Maid through some very clever engineering on top of encryption tools we already use.

At its heart, ORWL is a relatively basic PC. The CPU is an Intel Skylake, graphics are integrated Intel 515 with 4K support over a micro HDMI connection, RAM is either 4 or 8GB, storage is a 120 or 480GB SSD with AES 256-bit encryption, and wireless is Bluetooth 4.1 and 802.11 a/b/g/n/AC. Power is delivered through one of the two USB 3.0 Type C connectors. The specs are sufficient, but are in no way the major selling point of this computer.

ORWLThe reason ORWL exists is to be a physically secure computer, and this is where the fun happens. ORWL’s entire motherboard is surrounded by an ‘active secure mesh’ – an enclosure wrapped with electronic traces monitored by the MAX32550 DeepCover Secure Cortex-M3 microcontroller. If this microcontroller detects a break in this mesh, the SSD auto-encrypts, the CPU shuts down, and all data is lost. Even turning on the computer requires a secure key with NFC and Bluetooth LE. If ORWL is moved, or inertial sensors are tripped when the key is away, the secure MCU locks down the system. Of course, this microcontroller is powered by a small internal battery. If nothing else, the (eventual, but hopefully not soon) exploit that will open ORWL’s data up without the security key will be very, very cool.

We first heard of ORWL a few months ago from Black Hat Europe. Now this secure computer is up on Crowdsupply, with an ORWL available for $700, delivered later this year. The comments for our first post on this computer were unusually entertaining, beginning with the obvious question of why this was designed for Windows 10, and continuing to YAG lasers and cat’s whisker JTAG debuggers.

It’s irresponsible to claim ORWL will never be compromised. There are ways around every type of security, even if that method is a rubber hose and a pipe wrench. The question ORWL presents is if a computer designed with physical security in mind can be a success in both the market place and against an Evil Maid. That’s a question we can’t wait to see answered.


Filed under: security hacks
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skittone
17 days ago
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